Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Next Round -- Your response required!!

Hi everyone --

We're starting a new THWACk! 2 plan, as you probably divined from Eleanore's email.

There are two different options for you this time.

1) You can choose option 1, where you weigh in with Eleanore, and you receive her emails with weekly reminders and weigh-in details. I think we are also going to have Eleanore collect the money this time, because as usual I got confused and probably someone used someone's $25 for beer and cigarettes and sex toys. (Not me! Heavens! I hate beer!) (Also, Dori and Sharon, I owe you each $12.50, because of that last $25: don't you think I should have checked in with Eleanore earlier on the financials? I knew I was a little off, but... no harm done, I hope. Anyway, soon to be sorted out. That £25 isn't going to finance my condo in Miami Beach, I'm afraid. Or the one at Chamonix!)

In any case, you'll be fully up-to-date and on-time simply by subscribing to Eleanore's updates.

2) Option 2, and you must opt IN for this (send me an email to let me know you want to stay on the list), is that you also get gratis my emotional and inspiring emails. They are really superfluous to the basic details of the plan, but I definitely don't want to harass you or fill up your inbox with debris. I'm very conscious that, one, we are in Wheaton, and two, humor is very individual. Be warned, I tamed myself down for THWACk! ONE, so heaven only knows what will come through your inbox this time round. It might be slightly saucier than THWACk! ONE, but it will definitely not be as disgusting as Tiger Woods' sext texts which I've been reading avidly non-stop since last night. Good Lord, I can't help myself. My heavens, that man has some wrong ideas, which I won't get into here, but...! What wouldn't we give these days, for boring old Arnold Palmer, fat Jack Nicklaus, and drunken John Daly? I mean, really!?!?!?? Golf's totally gone to the dogs. Men and their putters. Crickey. I could write a book.


If you choose to opt in, be aware that I've been using my imagination and scouring the internet for the best of handsome men (oddly, mostly on gay guys sites; who knew?), gorgeous semi-clothed women, extreme sport (naked paragliding, here we come!), and arty shots of whatever -- flowers, dominatrixes, lovely but dangerously tall stilettos, tattoos, kittens, and fantasy holidays. You never know what you'll get with me.

So those are your choices.

Price is still the same, $25 to Eleanore...

Weigh-ins are still weekly...

Set yourselves a goal, my friends, and..... we're OFF!

THWACk! 2 - The Memorial Day Weekend Challenge!!!! Let's have the next one end on Tuesday, May 25th. Memorial Day is May 31st. That's 9 more weeks -- very symmetrical, don't ya think?

I perhaps will wear my monokini into the WSC pool if I meet my goal. Are there rules about that kind of thing at our club? Should I ask John B? Or apply for permission to the owners? Any advice, do let me know. (I'd hate to make an ass of myself.) (Or make too much of a splash.) I'm thinking, a dip in the main pool about 10am on a Tuesday, early June. That'd get the old guys going, the ones who have their coffee hour in the main lounge area. Or it might kill 'em off. Their hearts, you know! Good thing we have this new Obama heath care plan with universal coverage. There may be a new western suburbs epidemic of blindness, I'm imagining....

That's not a monokini, and her body is 10,000 times nicer than mine. So this photo is totally irrelevant, but I just thought I'd throw it in. For your reading pleasure.

(You're welcome.)

Somehow, I'm thinking that if there's no alcohol allowed at WSC, there's certainly no topless bathing. This is not the Cote d'Azur, is it?

(Although all the men at the WSC pool are topless. What the heck's up with that? Some of those old dudes even have moobs! Horrifying! )

Harummph. Life's just not fair.

And yet....

Maybe I can talk someone into modeling the Borat suit I've already purchased. Ladies? Bets? Who thinks I can talk someone into a photo shoot by our final deadline?

Send me your bets, if you're willing to dare. Who, and how much??? I totally bet I can get at least two guys to model my suit. There, you're on!

[Must participate in the contest to win... Good luck!]

xx e


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